Denied Love - A Miracle Girls Fanfiction
by YaoiGirl
Summary: [Miracle Girls - Shounen Ai] When Noda finds out his feelings for Kurashige, how will everything turn out?


Denied Love - A 'Miracle Girls' Fanfiction  
  
*AUTHOR'S NOTE* Yes, yes, yes. Before you read this, I KNOW that Kurashige and Noda (Chris and Jackson for the dubbies) are not supposed to go together, but I think that they would be really cute together!!! This story is narrated by Noda-San. Enjoy!!  
  
  
  
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to hold you in my arms. . . . . . . .  
But we both know that will not happen. . . . . For you love Mikage, and I have Tomomi, but. . . . . .  
  
  
"Hey, Kurashige! Do you have an extra towel?"  
"Yes, just a minute!"  
Bending over his bag after the track meet, Kurashige's hands moved quickly, removing an extra towel for me to use. "There you go." He said, handing me the towel in the empty locker room, with just us two heading to the showers. "Thanks. I forgot mine at home, I could have sworn that I had one. . . . . ." Looking up as I peeled off my white track shirt, I mentally looked over what I thought I had packed the night before in the bag. Kurashige laughing, he responded happily "Don't worry about it! I've done that, too." Looking to the blonde-brunette boy, I smiled to myself, looking over the boy's thin, but well-muscled figure. His long, pale arms, the beautiful emerald orbs that shone when he smiled. . . . . . nothing could keep me away from this boy who is my best friend. We contrast each other in every single way, and it has been like that since we'd met on the track team at the beginning of middle school. Kurashige had light hair, in contrast to my dark hair, grey eyes instead of that brilliant green, and I have more of a masculine look to me, while Kurashige had a submissive, child-like look to him, physically. Rarely we act like this now, we are usually apart because we're seeing Mikage and Tomomi, but I know the real Kurashige nobody else does. He is much more innocent than what you would think him to be, and he has a genius for science, but is the most sympathetic person anyone could find. I didn't know how I got so lucky to know Kurashige. After showering, we got our original clothes from our lockers. "I wonder how they are doing."  
"What?" I ask, a little confused at what Kurashige is getting at.  
"Mikage and Tomomi-Chan. I wonder if they are all right, being alone while people like Kageura-Sensei are still roaming around. . ."  
My heart sinks as he mentions them. I wish we could just have one day without Mikage and Tomomi brought up. "They're on vacation, you know. . ."  
"I know, I was just wondering aloud. . ."  
Jesus, how can anyone be so innocent and beautiful without knowing it!? It's a crime! His smile is enough to make me go crazy, why can't he see that in himself!? Saying goodbye to each other, we go our separate ways to our houses.  
  
Behind my shut and locked door, I hold my breath for one moment before slowly sliding to the floor, my bag carelessly thrown to the side. How can I ever tell him? It's not like he'd ever be expecting "Kurashige, I love you" more than "You know, Kurashige, I have sick dreams about you and me at night" This will be a disaster, and so goes the story of my life. Even if that second quote IS true. . . . . . No, No, NO! Don't think about that now!!! . . . . . . .Too late. I touch myself through my jeans, quickly removing my hand as I realize that I'm doing so. How can he do this to me!? Kurashige. . . . . . . aishiteru, Aishiteru, AISHITERU!!!!!! If only I could say it aloud. . . . . . for now I will just have to be content with you as my best friend and my sick thoughts. . . . . oi.  
  
  
I wake up from my vivid dream, sweating and breathing hard again. What is it about HIM? It could just as easily be Tomomi or even Mikage, but of the four of us, why. . . . . .HIM? Whatever I do, I cannot let myself be given away. . . . . . not until I'm ready. Taking deep breaths, trying to clear this dream from my mind, I try and fall asleep again, the navy blue of the night conveying my feelings of despair.  
  
Tomorrow at school, I really don't feel like talking to anyone, even Kurashige. Mikage is still not back, but I can't face him without fifty million things running through my head. Sighing, I enter the classroom and head to my seat next to Kurashige, where Mikage would be on the other side of me. Giving me a concerned look, he mouthed 'what's wrong' to me as Kageura-Sensei began talking, his crazy lesson making no sense to me. Shaking my head, I hide what could possibly be wrong. He would never understand. . . . and he never will. I just won't tell him unless he gives a sign first. Dream on. There's an American band called Ace of Base, their lyrics are translated to 'Angel Eyes' That song, haunting but beautiful. . . . I've loved it since I heard it on my friend's computer, I don't know, but it seems like I can relate in some way to the translations. Oh well. I have to see him in track today, so I can't necessarily avoid him. Why can't I feel this towards anyone but him!? As I die of embarrassment. . . . . Dammit. Oh well. As classes end, I have to go and face track.  
  
I tried avoiding Kurashige as much as possible and now I feel guilty beyond all means. He kept giving me concerned looks while we were practicing, and I had to ignore it and keep running. He didn't talk to me in the locker room, and I didn't talk to him, either. I think he's fully convinced that I hate him now for some reason. Tomorrow I have to tell him what really happened. Let's just hope nothing else comes from my big mouth. . . .  
  
The next day at school, I found Kurashige, but I'd completely forgotten that Mikage and Tomomi would be back today. He saw me, gave me a look that broke my heart, and continued talking with Mikage. Noticing it was a lost cause, I stepped away, talking to some other people on the track team. All day I tried talking to him, but he always found a way to ignore me or look the other way. At track I thought I would get a chance to talk to him, but I never got it, he did what I did yesterday. It went that way for three more days until it was Friday. It was after track, and we were the only ones in the locker room again. I finally got the nerve to speak. "Kurashige. . . . I. . . . ."  
"Noda, please don't do this. I've already taken your hint that you hate me. If you never want to talk again, that's fine, but you could've given me a reason!"  
"Kurashige, that's not it! I don't hate you, I was just–"  
"Just give me a reason, Noda!"  
  
"I don't have a reason because it's not true!! I was just having a bad day!"  
"Some bad day to not even want to talk about it!"  
"So I didn't want to talk about it. Big deal!"  
"I asked you at least fifty times and you ignored it completely! You could have at least told me that you didn't want to talk about it, not like it IS that reason."  
"Look, it's not you, okay!?"  
"Why can't you be a man and ADMIT IT to yourself before you do thi–"  
"I don't HATE YOU!!!!" A crack echoed through the locker room before I even realized what I'd done. Kurashige's right cheek was starting to redden, and my hand stung from the impact of my smack. He was looking down, and he was shaking. "Kurashige. . . . . . I'm so–"  
"You could. . . . . . you could have told me sooner. If it's because of Mikage, I don't feel that way about her like she thinks I do. And you know what the funniest thing is that. . . . . . . . the funniest thing is that I liked you, too." Picking up his bag, he walked out the door quickly. A second after I saw the crystalline tear fall from his face.  
  
I tried calling Kurashige's house over and over to no avail. Tomomi is glad that she is back, but I don't know how to tell her that I don't love her like she loves me. It's all so messed up now, why didn't I tell him anyways? Remorse is never a good thing, this is awful. Why is life so bad? I really want to talk to him, but if he won't say anything in response, it isn't worth it. . . . is it? I guess I will have to try and make him listen, just to show him that I still care. He was brave enough to tell me first when I acted like a total ass. I should be giving it more effort than what I've been doing, although I'm probably really ringing up the phone bill by calling his house so much. At the next track meet. . . I'll tell him.  
  
The track meet is just ending, and again Kurashige and I are the only ones in the locker room. He isn't talking to me, we're just sitting here silent and alone. We're coincidentally right next to each other with lockers, and it isn't even a home meet, which I'm finding is getting more and more to me. I have to pick up my courage and grow up! "Kurashige. . ."  
"Hm?" Those soft eyes. . . my god, why are you turning to me!? God how the hell – !? I- I'm kissing you. . . I'm actually kissing you. . . your soft lips against mine, just like it should be. . . Kurashige. . . "Aishiteru. . ." I whisper, breaking the kiss for a minute. He looks up to me, smiling. Returning my embrace, he replies, saying, "Ageku. . ."  
  
  
*~The End~*  
  
  
*^^* Owari, I hope you like??? Review over e-mail, because I can't post this on ff.net right now! T-T 


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